The Perks of Being a CubeFlower

Dear Friend,

Today marks the last day of my probation period. This means, after today, they'll need a documented paper trail to fire me. (I hope this blog doesn't count.) It also means starting Monday I get my 401K and medical benefits. That's great news for a hypochondriac like me. I've already made a list of things I want four different doctors to look at. Co-pay, bitch!

In my three months here, I've gotten used to spending a third of my day in this cubicle. It's a little unnerving to realize that this is the longest I've ever been employed at any one job. After a while, it grows on you. If you set up your mirrors right, keep the volume on your iPod down, and utilize the alt-tab function, everyone will always think you're hard at work. No one will ever know that you're actually on GMail chat with your hand down your pants.

Cubicle life is routine, and then more routine. Meetings every Wednesday and Friday. Making fun of my older co-workers for being old. Telling them that their daughters are attractive every time they get off the phone with them. All in good fun, of course. I have my customary twenty minute post-meal nap, and my morning and afternoon "reading sessions". A paycheck twice a month. Counting the minutes until happy hour starting Friday after lunch. A guy could get used to this.

All in all, I suppose I could do a lot worse.

Love always,
Eric