Idiot Says What?

I'm in the break room, overhearing one guy tell a joke to another guy...

Guy #1: So Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to a deaf dry cleaner. "I need to get my dress cleaned please." The dry cleaner asks "Come again?" And she looks embarassed and says "Yeah."
Guy #2: That joke is at least eight years old.

Fine, none of this actually happened, but I'm bored enough to make up fake scenarios, what does that tell you about my day?

One Down, So Many More To Go

Four days after the Turkey Trot, I'm still sore. My neck and back hurt, and parts of my abs and hips that I didn't know I could work out are kinda tight also. It's probably because my feet are as flat as bricks. Eight miles in 75 minutes, I must say, I'm rather proud of myself.

Next goal: Learn Japanese in 60 days.

Office Antics

I was walking through the break room after lunch today, when I noticed a small contingent of sales guys watching water drip from the ceiling into a trash can. We made small talk about how this building is a broken down piece of shit (it's really not, my office is quite nice) and then, on a whim, I dared my friend TJ to drink a glass of the water.

"How much?"

"Eight bucks," I replied, counting the dollar bills in my wallet.

"Done."

To be honest, I didn't think he'd actually do it. This is because this water probably has lead and asbestos and bird dropping particles in it. But drink it he did, and I happily paid him the eight dollars he earned.

A minute later I got this email from him:
Oh god man… the aftertaste is KILLING me.And I’m stuck in a webinar for the next HOUR without being able to cleanse my pallate… you win sir… Well played.

I offered to bring him a nice tall glass of Brita filtered water for eight dollars. He didn't respond. Not a bad Thursday.

Standard Time Blows

People are morons. Traffic this week has been so bad because people aren't used to driving home in the dark. My half hour drive home has doubled because these assholes have bad night vision and are scared of the dark. And you wonder why I'm such a misanthrope. I wonder how long it'll take for people to get used to it.

We've hired a new part time employee. The kid is 19 and sits around in his cube talking on AIM. Reminds me of me when I first started here. I kinda want to warn him about what this job will do to people, but I think he'll figure it out on his own. I do, however, want to tell him to switch to Gmail chat instead, it's easier to conceal the fact that you're not working.